You’re REALLY busy. Perhaps you’re even overwhelmed. I GET YOU.
I’ve been there, and I know the agony that is being so absolutely exhausted, saturated and fed up with all that demands your attention and care.
So this post is for YOU.
It’s not about making you FEEL BAD about being busy. NEVER!
It’s about bringing some new light into this complex equation, that is your Life and Work.
And how changing your perspective, your beliefs and your choices, can create a much better quality of life, for you and yours, NOW.
We have over a decade of proven results and positive progress in this area, personally and professionally, to prove it.
The initial shifts can feel tough, but once you get going, it’s SO MUCH easier.
And you will wonder how you ever survived before.
So here are some ideas and questions to keep in mind and work through on your way to a more EASE-FUL life and work:
This will help with your busy life.
1) Do you actually know your ENTIRE UNIVERSE of RESPONSIBILITY?
One of the first things we ask our clients, and ourselves, is to create a detailed MindMap of EVERYTHING in their lives, personally and professionally, that they are responsible for, and are currently managing.
The key is to make it as DETAILED as possible. Down to as many 1st, 2nd and even 3rd level sub-headings per core area.
Almost everyone struggles with this exercise at first, some even hate me for it, but EVERYONE gets AMAZING insights and results from it.
And once you get the first version, the future ones are SO MUCH EASIER to update.
The key is understanding that to be able to reflect on your current workload, in all its many aspects, you have to first clearly view and understand what it is.
No matter how much you think you have it clear in your head, on paper, it enormously frees up your mental space for better thinking and analysis, and this is where great solutions come from for renewed relief and FREEDOM.
If you’re not sure how to do this, contact us for a free consultation and we will happily guide you through it.
2) Everything you choose to do is essentially a CHOICE.
Even if it’s a hard one. Or one you’ve committed to a long time ago. Perhaps even one you’re so used to, you can’t imagine not doing it. One you’re afraid to let go of, even when you’re so tired of it.
But it’s a choice.
This may seem unfair, but it’s an important declaration and TRUTH, because very few things in our current lives – WHAT we do and HOW we do it – actually have to continue, or in the same exact way.
Small changes can create amazing milestones for increased ease, relief, rest and liberation.
The question is: are you willing to take a look and question your decisions?
Many people will say yes to this in principal, but in practice will fight tooth and nail to defend the very things doing them harm.
And I get it: some things you HAVE to continue, in one way or another.
But if the other end of this is ENORMOUS RELIEF for you and yours, isn’t it worth taking a look?
Asking a question?
Shifting the paradigm?
Only you can decide.
3) Do you know your PRIORITIES? Are they about YOU or about everyone and everything else?
If you now consider 1) and 2), the next logical question is:
“What is truly important to you?”
We’re always asking this, of ourselves and everyone we work with.
The reality is that you CANNOT do EVERYTHING. Because the important things in your life deserve the respect, focus, energy and investment to make them effective.
And the key to maximum productivity and effectiveness is understanding that “to say YES to certain things, you have to also say NO to many others.”
There’s no magic formula that allows you to spread yourself thin and still do everything excellently. You have to CHOOSE.
The best way to start is to clear your “slate” of tasks, and just write a list of those that are truly the most important for you and that truly require YOU to do them (vs. someone else who can help).
Then go to your MindMap representing your entire Universe of Responsibilities, and choose a reasonable number of specific sub-tasks that you can properly dedicate yourself to in the coming season.
Yes, SUB-TASKS, not core areas.
Small as they may seem, each responsibility requires investment, of which you have a limited amount, no matter how efficient, effective and super-charged you are.
The amount you’re able to manage effectively and healthily may be more than others, but it’s still not unlimited.
The sooner you respect and even celebrate that, the easier it will be to SAY YES to what truly matters and delegate, hold off, or even eliminate the rest.
4) Saying NO is the KEY to freeing a Busy Life
This may feel like betrayal. Saying no…to something you want to do, feel you have to do, others depend on you for, etc.
But as I paraphrase from a recent blog of famous coach Rich Litvin “you had to say YES to a lot of things to get your experience and exposure. But afterwards, you have to say NO to a lot of things to get your SUCCESS.”
And as he powerfully cites, Warren Buffet himself said “Successful people say NO to almost everything.”
WHAT? Really?
Yes.
The bigger your universe grows, the more you yourself grow, and the more people and things will demand your attention and effort.
So to get in the practice of respectfully and effectively saying NO to things, will be the key to your newfound freedom and success.
You don’t have to justify or apologize.
Just give enough information to make it meaningful and that’s enough.
It might sound like this:
“Thank you for this invitation / opportunity / inquiry. At this time, I already have core priorities in work / health / family / etc. that require my best commitment and I cannot attend to more. But I will consider this in the future (if you wish to), and wish you great success in your venture.”
5) Your optimum is actually 70%, not the unrealistic 100%.
Scott Jeffrey in a recent post talked about moderation, the Middle Way. And how, if we truly think realistically, we can’t actually give a 100% to anything.
Why?
Because our 100% needs to spread across ALL the most important things we are responsible for and have to manage.
If we insist on putting 100% on one given thing, we’re completely disrespecting the healthy and realistic limits on our time, resources, and wellbeing.
And the result? Overwhelm, exhaustion, burnout, frustration, anger, demotivation, etc.
Yes, there are times when all of us need to CRUNCH: periods that require us to push intensely to get things done, get through tough times, manage more than is reasonable, etc.
That’s ok. But it should not be your EVERY DAY.
If you think about it, you have great capacity. And 70% of that great capacity is actually A LOT.
So how much more pleasant, peaceful, and effective would your existence be if you were aiming for a solid 70% investment in anything you do?
Versus insisting on more and paying the price.
6) What does “Being SO BUSY” really mean for you?
Some people will scoff at this question as they feel they have no other choice than to continue being so saturated. And that may be their case, or not.
But there are still a lot of people who garner a sense of importance, personal evidence, and justification for their self-worth, by “demonstrating” that they’re “really busy people”.
It may not be intentional. I used to be one of them and a time ago felt that, if I wasn’t truly busy, I wasn’t doing enough.
In fact, as BUSY was my daily bread every day since I was a small child (with countless commitments outside of school and home duties), I didn’t FEEL that I was doing enough, giving enough, unless I felt the PAIN and strain of pushing past my limits.
What??
Where did we learn that?
But many of us did. And it paved the way for an existence that makes you feel that “you’re never enough”.
“It’s never enough”.
“Unless I feel I can’t do, feel, think, more.”
No wonder we may struggle to rest, relax, disconnect and enjoy.
Get more insight on that in our post: “I’m not enough”.
But our Life is meant to be more than an accumulation of tasks to make us feel important.
We are enough just as we are.
And finding ways to cherish that and celebrate ALL the moments this Life has to offer, is where true meaning comes to our daily lives.
As always, never hesitate to contact us with your thoughts and questions, and send us your insights for how YOU are transforming from BUSY to BALANCED.
