Control the Narrative. Ever wonder how some people are able to weather challenges with more ease and wisdom, while others suffer endlessly?
Perhaps you thought it was luck…in their type of personality or life situation.
While both of these things may play a role at times, the reality is that we’re all constantly experiencing difficulties, and trying to manage them as best as we can.
Therefore, good fortune, of one type or another, cannot be the ONLY answer to more EASE in stressful circumstances.
Also, maybe you have observed yourself more serene on certain challenging occasions, and then more harried and disturbed in others. Affecting, of course, the way you REACT.
So, what makes the difference?
A lot of things can help you manage stress more effectively. Being especially rested, energetic from a good workout, enjoying good health, living in a nurturing relationship, having enough money, comforted after a positive work situation, and much more.
Yet the truth is that even when we DO have one or many of those things, we can still struggle with stress and strain in a way that damages us and those around us.
Because, while we can certainly do a lot to optimize these types of circumstances, they’re not ENTIRELY in our control. Sometimes, not at all.
The only thing you can ACTUALLY manage, in any stressful situation, is YOURSELF.
I’m sure you’ve heard this before, but how in the WORLD do you do it?
You CONTROL the NARRATIVE.
What does it mean to “control the narrative”?
In this particular respect, it means to “wilfully and strategically DESIGN the way you choose to hear, interpret and understand a given situation, to be able to FILE IT AWAY constructively and RESPOND to it in the most effective way”.
Sounds good, no?
And yes, it’s completely possible.
Not to mention, VITAL, for gaining more peace and confidence in your day to day life.
But it also takes some thoughtful work and reflection. For the long-term.
And like any physical, mental or emotional “muscle”, it requires creativity, practice, openness, and determination to make it WORK.
Here’s how you get started…
1) To control the narrative means you have to be truly WILLING to SEE the good.
That essentially means optimizing your Value System and your Positive Thinking in a way that suspends your negative judgment, nurtures trust (in yourself, others, and life), and orients you towards seeking quality solutions, instead of continuous complaints.
Sound difficult? It can be, but it doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to have your pains, frustrations and doubts.
Remember that “positive thinking” is not forcing positive thoughts or emotions.
It’s being willing to see different sides of a situation (including yours)…
Tap into empathy and compassion (also, as well for yourself)…
And be open to new ideas, creative strategies, and the simple belief that things could turn out well (even if you’re so afraid that they might not).
Your Value System is simply all that you want to be and achieve in yourself and in your life. Working to align it with your genuine desire to bring more serenity, success, and empowerment into your way of being and living, is key here.
2) Controlling the narrative needs you to nurture your Emotional Intelligence.
This means your ability to effectively understand and manage your own emotions, as well as understanding and managing the emotions in others.
If this feels new or impossible to you, you’re not alone.
And you don’t have to be “PERFECT” at it.
But the more you learn, practice and evolve this ability, the better you will get.
This requires thoughtful listening, observation and quality communication in your RESPONSE, not just your immediate (even panicked!) reactions.
And being open to the feedback of others, even when it’s uncomfortable.
You can always choose what feedback you wish to incorporate, and what you wish to ignore.
But try and understand ALL of it.
Start with…
- Asking yourself regularly “how do I feel?” especially when feelings feel intense and uncomfortable.
- Get to know yourself better and build a relationship with your Inner Higher Self (we all have it), so you can excel in understanding your needs, fears, hopes, desires, expectations and the like in any situation.
- When witnessing the reactions of others, ask yourself, “what might be happening for this person and WHY?” “What is their issue, and what is actually mine?”
- Before you react from your immediate emotional base, take a PAUSE (even for just a few seconds), consider your ultimate goals, and RESPOND thoughtfully, to the best of your ability.
This is a lifelong pursuit, so take your time, be patient with yourself and others, and keep LEARNING.
For more insight, check out our NEVBlog on “Identifying Your Emotions – What am I feeling and does it even matter?”
3) To control the narrative requires quality Critical and Strategic Thinking.
When we feel triggered by a situation, meaning it incites deep, intense (and often challenging) emotions in us, it’s because it’s reminding us (consciously or subconsciously), of a previous trauma (difficult moment).
And it often involves SHAME. Which is defined as anything that previously or currently made you feel “LESS THAN”, small, incapable, powerless, hopeless, depressed, etc.
This is when your Inner Detective needs to come out, exercise its “objectivity” skills and ANALYSE the situation with as much calm, wisdom, and creativity as possible.
Critical thinking is a core Life Skill, and simply means “the ability to ask the right questions towards creating accurate and quality conclusions of events and experiences”.
“Critical” doesn’t mean it’s negative but rather discerning, detailed, deep.
Strategic thinking we define as “the ability to bring together quality critical thinking conclusions towards designing truly effective and intentional responses, decisions and actions”.
It’s how you decide to move forward, in the best way possible.
Both are fundamental in ensuring that you get the most precise understanding of what’s happening around you and TO you while empowering your innate ability to manage your own existence.
Start simply by asking yourself in any given situation…
- “What do I know?”, “What do I NOT know?”
- “How can I get more quality information about this?”
- “What is most IMPORTANT to me, and WHY?”
- “What is most IMPORTANT to them, and WHY?”
- “What is the outcome that is most effective in this situation (hopefully for both)?”
- “How do I need to RESPOND to make that happen?”
4) Reality is only, TRULY, what we make of it.
This is the essential CORE of controlling the narrative.
NONE of us live in the “real world”. We ALL live in OUR worlds.
That means that the great majority of what and how we live is determined by how we’re willing to SEE it, UNDERSTAND it, and RESPOND to it (not react impulsively!).
You may get this somewhat, but until you integrate it fully, it will be hard to live by it.
But even then, you can get wonderful results by trying.
Chances are, as per my earlier comment, you’ve already seen this in action.
In YOURSELF, the last time you managed something with more wisdom and ease.
So, LEARN from yourself, your past wins and revelations, and keep building on it.
This is not luck, it’s when your Inner Higher Self got empowered enough to step up, make itself known, and guide you through a challenge.
The more you use it, the more it will show up to accompany and support you.
5) You ALREADY have ALL the RIGHT and POWER to control your narrative.
No one can take you away from yourself. Sometimes it feels like that’s possible, that it’s happened, but it’s only because we ALLOW it.
That’s NOT to make you feel bad!
It’s to remind you of your ENORMOUS POTENTIAL, strength, talents and visions that are always within you.
Even if you feel you’ve lost sight of them for some time.
You can decide how you wish to interpret the next thing that happens to you.
It doesn’t mean denying your struggles or emotions, forcing compliance to others, or continuing to endure things that don’t serve you.
Actually: the OPPOSITE.
Get connected with yourself simply by trying to ask, listen and accept compassionately what comes out.
Then look for strategies, resources, allies, and your own inner greatness, to intentionally, decide how to move forward.
Remember, this is a muscle. If it’s new for you, or you’ve let it go for a while, it takes a bit of time.
But NO ONE can take your Inner Wisdom from you.
You just need to tap into it.
Come to us freely with your questions and thoughts and we will nurture you with our best support and guidance. Always confidentially. See you soon.
