Years ago as I was having one of my “self-reflective” moments during a nature walk. I was blown away to suddenly realize that one of the key things I have always needed, searched and worked for was the concept of FREEDOM.
Every time I’d ask myself “what do I need NOW?”, I’d come up with things like ease, lightness, personal power, play, balance, inspirational peers, and many other core themes that felt very true for me in the moment and critical to taking me forward to my next visions.
And they worked.
But it took me a long time to realize that one of the consistent, underlying truths that encompassed who I am, what I want, and what unlocks my own greatness, is indeed: FREEDOM.
And it’s been with me since I was a child.
Sometimes the things that are most inherent to us become so integrated that they become invisible.
So we keep seeking them unconsciously, without recognizing them consciously, and herein struggle can arise.
The thing is, I’m not at all unique in this.
Since that time, we’ve done various studies and inquiries, qualitative and quantitative, only to find that many people are also longing for this sense of liberty.
Yet like many core human needs and goals, we often have an incomplete view of them. And may get caught up in the societal prejudices and misconceptions of what the term itself means.
The result: misunderstanding the need in ourselves, guilt and shame for pursuing it, and endless frustration in trying to achieve and justify it.
And FREEDOM is a perfect example of that.
So, if any part of you is crying out to take flight (like me), take a look at this…
What does the search for FREEDOM really mean?
In the most basic sense, it can be defined as being FREE to:
1. Be your authentic self.
2. Have time and space to nurture yourself.
3. Make life choices that align with your values and visions.
4. Live a daily life that flows instead of strains.
5. Pursue and maintain relationships that truly serve you.
6. Have access to new resources, possibilities and solutions.
There’s much more and much that goes into each one of these categories. Perhaps the most important being basic human rights of health, safety and security. Something too many people in this world still do not have and is one of the greatest injustices of our age.
For the purpose of this article, we will not address that incredibly important element as we cannot begin to do it justice.
And much greater experts than myself are already on it.
In this post, we will look at the more day-to-day, yet still massively fundamental elements of FREEDOM, once basic human rights are fulfilled.
But first, we need to look at all the ways we misunderstanding this very vital need.
Here are some core MYTHS about Freedom and ways to reconsider them:
- I need to be single and alone to be truly free – at times in our lives, absolutely. But belonging is a main need for human growth. And if you surround yourself with the right people, in healthy relationships, they can give you more freedom and power than going it alone.
- I need to do things myself to be free in my choices – again sometimes this is true. But as anyone who’s ever been part of a powerful, loving community, family, couple, friendship, team or organization can tell you – as a leader, a follower or better yet BOTH: collaborative, like-minded souls can often create much more impactful and liberating change together than separately.
- I cannot commit to a choice if I’m to be truly FREE – there are absolutely times in our lives where we need to wait, float, play, explore, test, try, etc. without the pressure of having to decide, commit or act right away. This is part of the creative process, the entrepreneurial process, and simply the GROWTH process, relevant to us all. But freedom is not only in the choosing but also the implementing – making REAL your chosen life visions for any area. And living that reality gives massive freedom. Those who rarely or never commit to anything are not actually choosing freedom but rather a fear of commitment, connection, failure, rejection, etc. in the hopes of never being hurt or disappointed. Or disappointing others. And that’s a loss and a big topic for another blog.
Do you see the overarching theme here?
Individualism at all costs is NOT freedom.
While the pursuit of individual moments, reflections, endeavours, choices, etc. is ABSOLUTELY fundamental to building our self-awareness, self-knowledge, self-love and self-acceptance, sovereignty, accountability, life vision and much more…
…it is not the ultimate definition of FREEDOM.
Just a part of it.
But then it becomes about connection, listening, learning, sharing, relating, connecting, participating, collaborating, supporting, and LOVING, where the biggest part of powerful FREEDOM takes hold.
Only you can decide when and how to mix the two to make your existence maximally FREE.
But both are absolutely needed.
So here are some FREEDOM “best questions & practices” to keep in mind:
1) What does FREEDOM mean for you and WHY?
Be SPECIFIC. Nothing gets done being vague and general.
Write it out and the WHY is key.
Understand that this is the meaning freedom has for you right now, which may very likely change over the years. And that’s only normal and healthy.
But start with NOW.
2) What sort of freedom do you need to nurture your Individual Self and WHY?
Without addressing and attending to this first, you cannot truly give and engage with others in a healthy fashion.
As Brene Brown so thoughtfully states in her wonderful book “The Gifts of Imperfection”:
“Only when we respect and attend to our own needs, limits and desires, can we truly give to others with complete compassion and generosity.” (paraphrased)
3) WHAT and WHO in your Life gives you what you need to be free and WHY?
In other words, where are you already getting or can get your sense of true freedom?
Who is making that happen for you and how? How can you maximize it even more in a healthy way?
The WHY again is critical because sometimes we believe something frees us, but until we examine the underlying dynamics, we may find that this is not exactly true.
You may be getting support in different ways from another, but if that support comes at the price of your wellbeing, dignity, self-sufficiency, or self-development, it may not be that worth it.
In fact, it may be keeping you comfortable, trapped, blocked or any other damaging dynamic that prevents you from realizing your highest positive potential. Only you will know.
4) What EXTERNAL BLOCKERS (people, situations, dynamics, etc.) are damaging your feeling and experience of Freedom and WHY?
Here we look to clarify, understand and recognize how our outside circumstances may be impeding our sense of Freedom.
There may be barriers of obligation, routine, societal norms, etc. that keep these dynamics at play.
But only You can decide if you choose to keep engaging in them in this damaging way.
This doesn’t mean having to END entirely these engagements.
Simply finding more constructive ways to continue going forward and communicating in an effective and loving manner around them.
5) What INTERNAL BLOCKERS (your belief systems, emotional patterns, habits, choices, etc.) are damaging your feeling and experience of Freedom and WHY?
Now we look at what INSIDE you may be challenging your ability to live with greater Freedom.
Again, oftentimes they are things that we take for granted, have been doing for so long they may even be unconscious.
But taking some loving, non-judgmental time to reflect on them could bring enormous benefit. No shame, no guilt, no apology.
Just recognition, understanding and acceptance.
From there, you can decide what you are truly willing to continue being and doing, and what you want to change.
Also to learn more about this, check the list of books that can get you inspired in our previous NEVBlog “Short Personal Development Books to Blow Your Mind & Boost Your Spirit”.
6) If you were maximally FREE from your External and Internal Blocks to Freedom, how would you BE (think, feel, act, decide, engage with others, go through your day to day, etc.)?
It can be hard to imagine this because it might feel impossible. And yet it’s really not.
Yes, we always have to deal with some limitations and issues.
But Freedom, more than anything, is a state of thinking, being and acting in the World.
What one time feels like a constant, with some small, thoughtful shifts, can lead you to a new reality.
And then you will wonder how you ever endured the past dynamics as you did.
Even if it feels like there’s NOTHING you could possibly change, usually there actually is somewhere you can start to liberate yourself. Bit by bit. But then every new positive adjustment can lead to amazing results.
7) What is one SIMPLE STEP you could take IMMEDIATELY to start to relieve and resolve one of your External or Internal Blocks (or various)?
Greater freedom, like any new benefit, starts with one simple step. It might seem insignificant but it’s not. It’s a BEGINNING.
And a beginning is not “same as always” or STUCK.
Even if that first step doesn’t work out for you as you wish, you WILL learn from it, if you choose to.
So how badly do you want to FLY with NEWFOUND FREEDOM?
Try out a new something – anything – and let’s see.
We’re always here to hear you out and support you in your most important work, life or work-wise. So don’t hesitate to contact us and share your own unique wisdom, for the benefit of all.
