Do You Truly SEE People?
Are you able to perceive, recognize and treat with respect and care the individuals who cross your daily path?
The endless souls who care and service your well-being and who fulfil any number of important but often overlooked functions in our day to day.
Why is this important?
Because seeing every person as a PERSON and treating them that way with kindness, even in the short instances you interact together, creates so much goodness and effectiveness, for you and for them.
It’s one of those things that doesn’t seem that important immediately. But ultimately has a great impact on one’s effectiveness in life, both personal and professional.
And you, Do You Truly SEE People?
“Every day we encounter people who, by their position, can seem invisible.”
Waiters, janitors, cleaning ladies, nannies, receptionists, garbage collectors, and movers. Civil servants, store attendants, and just about everyone else who enters your life with a specific role but with whom you may not have extensive contact.
And yet, they impact our daily experience. And even much more important factors like our children, a new job or a critical process that we have to execute.
We are so busy. Life is so quick these days, and there are so many obligations and stresses that make it easy to just steamroll through life. Anxious to finish one thing and get to the next.
Do You Truly SEE People as they are?
“But we are all people. With stories, pains, passions, and personalities.”
In no way does this mean that we should cater to everyone who crosses our path.
In fact, there are toxic or careless people who may come along, briefly or for extended periods, that should be actively expunged or if that is impossible, carefully managed.
But in many cases, the way you approach a person, even in a very temporary time span, can impact the quality of your daily existence and the success you find, or not, in achieving your objectives.
Let me give you an example…
Many years ago I was starting in a multinational and needed to get some information from an executive assistant, who was especially upset that I was taking over the position of a previous employee who had been her friend.
They warned me she was not happy about it and, even though I was a new hire who had nothing to do with what happened previously, she was not necessarily amenable.
Still, she was a professional. Older than me (and certainly much more experienced), and she spent the week giving me the details and training I needed to do my job.
Despite the warnings of more than one employee about her discontent, she did a great job. Though it was clear she was not too happy about my being there.
While this was something within her job description and nothing I should have to “reward”, I was definitely very grateful for her help, without which, it would have been very difficult for me to continue forward.
At the end of that week, I brought her a bouquet of flowers. And she was truly surprised.
My boss at the time said that was ‘intelligent’ of me as if it were a manipulation.
But for me, I knew that I truly would have had a much more difficult time adjusting without this woman’s help. And she had to take plenty of time out of her regular schedule and many duties, to train me.
I was genuinely grateful.
We became great friends after that. Totally different walks of life and yet the human part in us all made it too easy to love and connect with this woman and share many important moments with her thereafter.
What she said afterwards was: “That was not expected or necessary, but it was truly appreciated”. I never forgot that moment.
People are People are People. That’s just it.
And there are countless other examples like that, both successes and failures, that I have stored in my memory of both my own life and that of friends, family and clients.
But most importantly, of the enormous difference, it can make.
Do You Truly SEE People?
“Our world, so very unfortunately, has ‘classes’ in it.”
Socioeconomic, race, culture, gender, sexual orientation, etc. It’s not fair yet it’s the reality, and those of us who choose to ignore that are living the privilege of our privilege.
Some of us have even occupied a great range of those ‘classes’ over the years.
Yet the quality of a human being has nothing to do with this.
We have all met great people in more humble life situations who have made an important difference in our lives. Or at least have shown great character. And certainly may have taught us something important.
Likewise, we have seen other “high and mighties” who didn’t deserve a second consideration because of how poorly they behaved. Yet insisted on throwing around their power to take from others to make themselves feel better.
Or perhaps like me, you have been someone who came from a level most wouldn’t value, and was fortunate to rise to a “different level”, where you were suddenly seen.
An immigrant, a nobody, broke, ignored, discriminated against, from a ‘lower class’, whatever society decides to peg on us.
Then in my case, with a wonderful education (largely, thanks to my parents), and a hell of a lot of work before and after, things started to change for me. But it was never a straight road.
I remember starting my first ‘official’ job with only a mattress on the floor in my Brooklyn apartment. But feeling free and happy. (Though my first contracted job was at 16, but I was babysitting regularly since I was 10!).
Then years later getting a job that paid reasonably well in NYC, but enormously well for the rest of the world.
Later immigrating to Spain, my second immigration, and starting at the bottom, with barely a soul who knew me.
And now, thankfully, the things we have achieved 14 years later.
But that is NOTHING compared to the sacrifice of so many others in this world.
Do You Truly SEE People as they are?
“What has struck me over the years have been the people who have treated me the same, despite my circumstances.”
And those who suddenly gave me the time of day when I gained some success, though had ignored me before.
Ridiculous. I’m the same person. The only changes to myself have been personal growth and certain achievements, not my value as a human being.
Yet here is the thing: my best life lessons have come as much from my prestigious mentors and successful colleagues, as they have from random taxi drivers, addicts or other struggling individuals. Low-income workers (in whatever profession), and basically anyone society doesn’t recognise for their AMAZING value, yet who critically impact our daily survival and success. And yes, they ARE intelligent. They ARE capable. They ARE worthy.
And they ARE YOU and ME.
But here is the best part: they could be all and the same.
Successful executives AND addicts AND whatever other combination of lauded and disregarded situations. But who are no less important, intelligent, and caring.
There are too many combinations to choose from.
People will say, life is too fast these days and interactions even shorter, there is no time to see that.
But of course, there is.
If you choose to ask.
Choose to consider and appreciate beyond your own frame of reference.
Choose to SEE.
Because a smile, a thank you, an apology, listening, helping, giving, and an extension of grace…is priceless.
And if you liked these reflections, you can continue exploring with us another essential factor for a better life in our NEVBlog: “Grace. What we ALL need to live better and in PEACE”.
And read the very essence of it, although it may surprise you, here: “What You Need for a Better Life”.
And please share your thoughts here with us.
