The sassy headline to this month’s post was meant for a reason: namely that what follows are things we all (and that includes me) might consider as some good principles to live by, for both work and life happiness. But, understanding that at times some may be challenging and other might evade us altogether.
But never fear! As we always say here at NEV C&C, we are “all works in progress” and life is not about trying to be perfect, but simply trying to feel good, while doing some good.
Enjoy and definitely join in with your own additions or comments.
THINGS I WON’T DO THIS YEAR…
1) NOT put myself 1st.
It’s so easy to believe that sacrificing ourselves is the the most noble form of giving, serving, and achieving. But it’s just simply not true. But if you are continuously ignoring your needs, hopes, and limits (and much more), it is so hard to have the continuous energy, generosity, ingenuity, and endurance to truly do good, for yourself and others. Check out our free LEDs Guide for ways to set and meet intelligent goals, while exploring your own Limites, Expectations and Desires.
2) Beat myself up for my failings.
There is an entire body of research around compassionate thinking and change, not to mention the entire Buddhist philosophy that was one of its origins, which proves over and over again that thoughtful reflection, compassion, and learning is SO MUCH MORE POWERFUL in creating lasting positive change, than anything inspired of fear, guilt, shame, or the like. It’s proven, so read up. For more information on this don’t miss anything by Western Buddhist monk Pema Chodron or the fantastic Paul Gilbert’s “Compassionate Mind”.
3) Forget the BEAUTIFUL things in this world.
Music, art, dance, literature, etc. are the great gifts humanity has given itself to never lose contact with the higher forms of grace, release, inspiration and revelation in our existence. Have you never gone to a concert, seen a beautiful video, read a fantastic ANYTHING, that utterly pulled you out of your daily strife and elevated your way of seeing, feeling, being and believing? Of course you have. And those things are always there to give us much needed respite and inspiration for moving forward. Proactively sprinkle your life with them.
4) Eat without JOY.
Yes we are all so busy, tired, rushed, etc. but taking the time to cook or order a nice meal, alone or shared with loving others, without distractions and with simple, perfect joy of enjoying the moment, is a godsend. It’s a religion in my house, and something we can all relate to. It need not be extravagant or expensive (one of my favourite meals is under $10 to create), but it can surely be a comfort and a great excuse to connect in more down to earth ways.
5) Go to sleep counting your worries.
There is so much that regularly goes wrong in our daily lives, stresses and frustrates us, if not downright frightens us. But there are also so many simple joys. This is LIFE. As a someone who has struggled with many diverse forms of insomnia I know how difficult this can be. But even in the most difficult times (and especially in those), going to sleep counting the smallest kindnesses of the day can be so important and effective to a peaceful night’s sleep…a warm meal, a nice text, a roof over our heads or the lack of a previous challenge, a bus that came on time or a task that worked out ok, however small. Try it as a regular practice, I promise you it will do WONDERS.
6) Ignore the HUMANITY in others.
In our hectic day to day it is easy to overlook that those around us, especially in everyday positions of service, are also human, thinking, feeling. We cannot personally offer our best to every person who crosses our path but we can also do something to not give some of our worst. A kind smile, a thank you, a nice comment or inquiry, or just the absence of taking things out on others, whoever they may be, goes a long way towards building kind energy in our world. Be the legacy of goodness and it will always give back to you. For more insight on this read our NEVBlog “Do you TRULY SEE people?”.
7) Go at it Alone.
It can be so tough to admit that we need help…a little, or a lot, in any area of our lives. Some are serious and deep, others even silly and small, but owning to this vulnerability can be a real challenge for some folks. And that’s ok. The thing is that asking for help is not a weakness, it is a gift. YES, a gift. Holy cow, I don’t have to do this alone! Finding good quality support, be it for house repairs, kid challenges, business wins or soul relief is a wonderful, wonderful thing. It saves you time and energy on trying to figure it all out from scratch. See our post on “Why Coaching?” for more insight on that type of unconditional support and insight.
8) Forget to say “thank you”, “I love you”, “I’m sorry”.
As long as we are on the topic of vulnerability, these three tend to be some of the toughest for folks to express. There are times when circumstances make it so, and understandably. But other times it’s a question of our philosophy in life…as if there might be a limited set of kindnesses we can or should offer in this world. Of course this should not be a crutch or abused in unhealthy relationships. But in most healthy situations, the ability to bear one’s heart, is a KEY to true life fulfilment and success. For more on this, watch Brene Brown’s TEDTalk on “The Power of Vulnerability”.
9) Cherish and revel in NATURE.
We are so blessed to live on this beautiful blue dot. Yes, we’ve heard others say it but the amazing power of connecting with it, even a tiny little bit, is magnificent. Be it a walk, gardening (even a little potted plant), or even watching some nice nature documentaries, getting reminded about the absolute brilliance of our home planet (not to mention our universe!) and our tiny but important place within it, makes for tremendous yet easy therapy for getting perspective, finding ease and stillness, and reconnecting with the roots of simple, beautiful existence. Don’t miss this. And it’s never too late to start. For more inspiration, check out the Blue Planet 2 series. It’s absolutely MAGNIFICENT.
10) Take it all so damn seriously…
There is no question that there are people right now in our world going through some truly difficult, even terrible things. You may be one of them, though I truly hope not. Still, most of us are privileged that our difficulties are temporary and for still others, they may be even relatively small. That is not to take away the significance of our troubles or worries. Not at all. Simply to say that in many cases, a bit of humor, hope, gratitude, and positive thinking, can go a LONG way to making it easier. I’ve definitely been guilty of taking some things too seriously, in ways that while I thought I was “doing what I need to take care of things”, still made it a heavier burden than perhaps it needed to be. I just put that out there, each one of your will decide when it is relevant, but I will challenge us all to say that it is more relevant than not in many occasions.
As always, feel free to add your own contributions to this list or send us comments of your particular practices for a a meaningful life.
This is beautiful. I often talk with clients about creating a “Do NOT Do” list. I look forward to starting with these.
You are so kind Sandy. Thank you so much for your comment. I think we are all trying to keep reminding ourselves of many good things, but hopefully doing so in a way that doesn’t further burden us as something we HAVE to do. Just things that bring us greater ease and joy. And you have been fundamental for me in doing that, both as my coach and as one of the finest professionals in our field, or any for that matter. All the best and thank you again.
Another good post Nev 🙂
Thanks very much Alison :). I hope everything is very very well with you. Much love.