The sassy headline to this month’s post was meant for a reason: the things to stop doing you’ll find below are, in fact, good principles we all (and that includes me!) might consider living by, both at work and in our pursuit of happiness.
Of course, some may be challenging, while others might slip our minds altogether.
But never fear!
As we always say here at NEVCC, we are “all works in progress.” Life isn’t about trying to be perfect, but simply about feeling good while doing some good.
Enjoy, and definitely join in with your own additions or comments!
10 Things to Stop Doing This Year…
Sometimes, the things to stop doing are just as important as the goals we set ourselves. Here are ten ideas to start the year differently.
1) NOT put myself 1st
It’s so easy to believe that sacrificing ourselves is the the most noble form of giving, serving, and achieving. But it’s just simply not true.
But if you are continuously ignoring your needs, hopes, and limits (and much more), it is so hard to have the continuous energy, generosity, ingenuity, and endurance to truly do good, for yourself and others.
Check out our free LEDs Guide for ways to set and meet intelligent goals, while exploring your own Limites, Expectations and Desires.
2) Beat myself up for my failings
Extensive research shows the power of compassionate thinking to create positive change. In fact, this concept has deep roots in Buddhist philosophy.
We often confuse compassion, both towards others and ourselves, with passivity or a lack of discipline. However, the opposite is true.
When practiced thoughtfully, compassion creates better and longer-lasting results than approaches based on fear, guilt, or shame.
It’s proven, so read up! For more information, don’t miss anything by Western Buddhist monk Pema Chodron or the fantastic Paul Gilbert’s The Compassionate Mind.
3) Forget the BEAUTIFUL things in this world
Music, art, dance, literature, etc. are the great gifts humanity has given itself to never lose contact with the higher forms of grace, release, inspiration and revelation in our existence.
Have you never gone to a concert, seen a beautiful video, read a fantastic ANYTHING, that utterly pulled you out of your daily strife and elevated your way of seeing, feeling, being and believing?
Of course you have.
And those things are always there to give us much needed respite and inspiration for moving forward.
Proactively sprinkle your life with them.
4) Eat without JOY
Yes we are all so busy, tired, rushed, etc. but taking the time to cook or order a nice meal, alone or shared with loving others, without distractions and with simple, perfect joy of enjoying the moment, is a godsend.
It’s a religion in my house, and something we can all relate to.
It need not be extravagant or expensive (one of my favourite meals is under $10 to create), but it can surely be a comfort and a great excuse to connect in more down to earth ways.
5) Go to sleep counting your worries
There is so much that regularly goes wrong in our daily lives, stresses and frustrates us, if not downright frightens us.
But there are also so many simple joys.
This is LIFE.
As a someone who has struggled with many diverse forms of insomnia I know how difficult this can be.
But even in the most difficult times (and especially in those), going to sleep counting the smallest kindnesses of the day can be so important and effective to a peaceful night’s sleep…a warm meal, a nice text, a roof over our heads or the lack of a previous challenge, a bus that came on time or a task that worked out ok, however small.
Try it as a regular practice,
I promise you it will do WONDERS.
6) Ignore the HUMANITY in others
In our hectic day to day it is easy to overlook that those around us, especially in everyday positions of service, are also human, thinking, feeling.
We cannot personally offer our best to every person who crosses our path but we can also do something to not give some of our worst.
A kind smile, a thank you, a nice comment or inquiry, or just the absence of taking things out on others, whoever they may be, goes a long way towards building kind energy in our world.
Be the legacy of goodness and it will always give back to you. For more insight on this read our NEVBlog “Do you TRULY SEE people?”.
7) Go at it Alone
It can be so tough to admit that we need help…a little, or a lot, in any area of our lives.
Some are serious and deep, others even silly and small, but owning to this vulnerability can be a real challenge for some folks. And that’s ok.
The thing is that asking for help is not a weakness, it is a gift.
YES, a gift.
Holy cow, I don’t have to do this alone!
Finding good quality support, be it for house repairs, kid challenges, business wins or soul relief is a wonderful, wonderful thing.
It saves you time and energy on trying to figure it all out from scratch.
See our post on “Why Coaching?” for more insight on that type of unconditional support and insight.
8) Forget to say “thank you”, “I love you”, “I’m sorry”
As long as we are on the topic of vulnerability, these three tend to be some of the toughest for folks to express.
There are times when circumstances make it so, and understandably. But other times it’s a question of our philosophy in life…as if there might be a limited set of kindnesses we can or should offer in this world.
Of course this should not be a crutch or abused in unhealthy relationships. But in most healthy situations, the ability to bear one’s heart, is a KEY to true life fulfilment and success.
For more on this, watch Brene Brown’s TEDTalk on “The Power of Vulnerability”.
9) NOT cherish or revel in NATURE
We are so blessed to live on this beautiful blue dot.
Connecting with nature, even just a little, can be truly wonderful. A walk, some gardening (even a little potted plant!), or a beautiful nature documentary can help us reconnect with it.
Moreover, appreciating the beauty of our planet and our tiny but important place within it brings us perspective, peace, and a sense of well-being.
Don’t miss out! And remember, it’s never too late to start.
For more inspiration, check out the Blue Planet 2 series.
It’s absolutely MAGNIFICENT!
10) Take it all so damn seriously…
There is no question that there are people right now in our world going through some truly difficult, even terrible things.
You may be one of them, though I truly hope not.
Still, most of us are privileged that our difficulties are temporary and for still others, they may be even relatively small.
That is not to take away the significance of our troubles or worries. Not at all.
Simply to say that in many cases, a bit of humor, hope, gratitude, and positive thinking, can go a LONG way to making it easier.
I’ve definitely been guilty of taking some things too seriously, in ways that while I thought I was “doing what I need to take care of things”, still made it a heavier burden than perhaps it needed to be.
I just put that out there, each one of your will decide when it is relevant, but I will challenge us all to say that it is more relevant than not in many occasions.
As always, feel free to add your own contributions to this list or send us comments of your particular practices for a a meaningful life.
This is beautiful. I often talk with clients about creating a “Do NOT Do” list. I look forward to starting with these.
You are so kind Sandy. Thank you so much for your comment. I think we are all trying to keep reminding ourselves of many good things, but hopefully doing so in a way that doesn’t further burden us as something we HAVE to do. Just things that bring us greater ease and joy. And you have been fundamental for me in doing that, both as my coach and as one of the finest professionals in our field, or any for that matter. All the best and thank you again.
Another good post Nev 🙂
Thanks very much Alison :). I hope everything is very very well with you. Much love.